This blog is about trousers. And shame tolerance.

This blog is a year old. Happy Birthday to me.

My first ever post, sometime in April 2006, was a shamefully self-indulgent weepy about being oh-so-alone in the world. I don't think anyone had time to read it (thankfully), as after a night spent tossing and turning in deep embarrassment over it, I went back and deleted it the next day. It is the only one I have deleted, and I have a pact with myself I shan't do it again. Sometimes I even make myself live with the shame of spelling or grammatical errors (recently I wrote the word "elk" with an s-plural, the horror, the horror). The reason for this will become apparent in a moment.

My second post, the first one available now, is really eloquent. It says something like "just to see if I can find my way back to post again".

My third post, the second available, is about buying or not buying a pair of ludicrous trousers. I had put on a fair amount of weight in the recent years, and the trend continued with exponentially accelerated velocity in the US. I didn't buy the trousers mentioned in the post, and I'm glad. Since I returned to Finland in the summer, I have lost (thanks to a combination of picking up smoking again after 5-6 years and actually using public and pedestrian forms of transport, plus some fun exercise) 8 kg - that's 17.6 pounds, ca. 1.26 stone to you non-SI types - and they would've fallen off me.

My fourth post, third existing one, is probably the longest one to date, and deals with shame tolerance. (And here's the aforementioned reason.)

So there you have it, these really are my themes. Trousers = everything menial, trivial, embarrassingly uninteresting, unimportant stuff. Shame tolerance = my attempts at writing about things which do matter to me. I am, of course, equally (or more) inclined to be embarrassed and ashamed over the "trousers" posts as well. In a bundle of ways, this blog is actually all about increasing my shame tolerance.

What has this year brought to me? I have met some very nice people, startlingly nice people, brilliant people I wouldn't have met otherwise. I have avoided meeting any real wankers, which is pretty good going, as this is very possible online too. (The internet has some really wanky corners and people.) These are good things.

I have increased my shame tolerance levels no end. This, too, is a good thing (I hope - if it goes out of hand, I don't know whether it'll continue to be a good thing).

I am also aware of the fact I have returned to a much smoother writing process, I am not as blocked up as I was - I was as blocked up as a blocked-up-thing when I started. This, also, is a good thing.

I have had blog fatigue once or twice, when the whole thing seemed inane and dorky and I thought I'd never go back to it. Then I did. Which, I think, is also a good thing. Oh, goodness abounds around me. How good is that.

As a birthday present to my wee blog, I think I might start seriously considering changing my photo.

This has been a trousers post.