Sometimes,

quite often really, the words of others say what you'd say yourself, if only you found the words.

This poem is by the Finnish-Swedish poet Edith Södergran. The translation is mine, and unfortunately from the Finnish translation only - because I'm too bone-idle to look up the Swedish original.

LIFE

I, a prisoner to myself, say thus:
life is not spring, dressed in light-green velvet,
nor a caress seldom received,
life is not a decision to go
nor two white hands to hold you back.
Life is a tight ring which imprisons us,
an invisible circle we never cross,
life is a close happiness which passes us by,
the thousands of steps we are unable to take.

Life is to despise oneself
and to lay immobile at the bottom of a well
and to know that above, the sun is shining
and golden birds fly through the air
and the days shoot past swift as arrows.
Life is to wave a short goodbye
and to go home and sleep...
Life is to be a stranger to oneself
and a new land for everyone else who comes.
Life is to neglect one's happiness
and to reject the only moment,
life is to believe oneself weak and not to dare.

I should apologise to ants, really

Not quite a fortnight from the solstice and you can see it: three o'clock and the sun is still clearly up - low down, yes, but not quite setting yet. We are winning, it has happened again, light is coming back. The planet keeps turning, light comes back, and maybe this is what matters, really. And as for us puny ants inhabiting the Earth, in spite of the horrors we cause each other, while there are still people in the world there will also be those who want to tear each other apart in love and longing rather than in hate and rage. More of those.

I need to think that is the case.

This shouldn't really speak to me, a non-believer, but it does

In fact, it speaks to me so it hurts. Shhh, folks, it's my secret weak spot, my Achilles' heel.

I would pray if I could

You may well know of a national tragedy having occurred in Finland today - well, yesterday, technically. Initially, when the news had reached me, I wanted to post a few words and a piece of music. Then I felt it would be insensitive, even crass, in a way - but now I feel I must acknowledge this infinitely sad and terrible thing having happened, or I can never come back here and talk about other things again, as if I hadn't cared. Let it therefore be known, for what it's worth, that I am numbed by shock and sadness by the thing that happened, and that - as they say - my heart goes out to those immediately affected by it. Let it also be known that in cases like these, I feel infinite sympathy for the family of the perpetrator, too. They, too, have lost their child, but they have also lost their right to grieve and mourn over their loss, and to hold onto and remember the good times, one day.

I have listened to this piece of music several times over tonight. I think it may well be the most beautiful piece of music I know. No amount of beauty will soothe those who have really been hit by this thing, but this has soothed me tonight. Which is why I am adding it here.

...and because her talent and pain go right through me.

Here, have a bit of Billie, for no other reason than because she really is the best...