Wednesday, May 09, 2007

And God Said, "Let There Be...

...totally unexpected internet connections for those who sigh under the yoke of plumbing-renovation-induced exile."

Ok, so it lacks a little of the short-and-snappy snazziness that "...light" has as the better-known continuation of the phrase. But it is currently making me almost as pleased as light, I am telling you. For some reason, my hope-against-hope effort of plugging in my modem at my parental abode has yielded a brilliant and wonderful result, after two days of it just sitting in the corner, blinking away.

I no longer have to bother librarians, or feel like the oldest kid in the internet cafe.

I am very happy.

23 comments:

nmj said...

Thank you, God, for giving Anna MR an internet connection during this vile plumbing affair, although secretly I am a fan of putkiremontti, if we had it in the UK our heating MIGHT NOT BREAK DOWN in winter. xxx

God said...

No problem, NMJ, you did ask very nicely. It was actually pretty easy for the Creator of the Universe, particularly as Anna MR is a Mac user. So don't even mention it.

xxx

nmj said...

Okay - am not sure if Anna MR is pretending to be God or if it's Periodic Pony, I know he's become a dabhand at links to youtube - unveil yourself, impersonator! I think it's you, Pony.

god said...

NMJ - do you doubt it is indeed I, Your Lord, The Ancient of Days?

You sinner. Down on your knees. Repent. It is not for you to ask questions. It is for you to wonder (and be amused).

periodic pony said...

Not me, NMJ - but I do like the fact that you are at least prepared to mistake me for God.

This will keep me awake tonight.

Anna MR - are you pretending to be God? NMJ is frightened - and I won't have anyone make her feel that way, okay?

Unless it really is God posting here, of course. In which case, sorry Sir. Please say hi to baby Jesus.

Anna MR said...

Guys - this really freaky thing has happened to me - first my net connection opened, for no apparent reason, and now my gmail box is flooded with messages from God - it says "God has left a new comment on your post..." - what should I make of all this? I know I was confirmed 25 years ago, is this to celebrate the Silver Jubilee, or something?

Hold my hands, friends. This is scary.

periodic pony said...

I think you are a sinning FIBBER, Anna MR.
Spookily enough, though, God swept in before me as I was trying to leave my first comment, almost as if He/She knew I was going to leave it.

NMJ - honestly, not me. Shame, really. I could do with being God for a while.

Helsinki - come clean.

God said...

Anna MR is a sinning fibber. She is a mere human woman, after all. Judge not, lest ye be judged, Periodic Pony. He who has never sinned shall cast the first stone. Thou hast lied and sinned, in your time, my son. The wrath of God may be upon thee and cut you down before you know it, if you don't leave off calling the poor harassed girl names.

periodic pony said...

Fair point, God - the thing about being the first to throw stones and stuff. Very wise words indeed. If you have any more snippets of omniscient sagacity, I should be really rather keen to hear them.

Have you ever thought of writing a book?

God said...

Writing books, my son, is for the minions and the believers. Being God, I have no need for belief. Or books. You write one. I'll look out for it, on Celestial Amazon.

nmj said...

Okay, so Anna MR is God, glad that's sorted, I was very confused. Pony, I must draw your attention (again) to the fact that I may be running away with Mr Z, you seem quite unaffected...x

periodic pony said...

Anna MR is actually God? Wow. This is a very welcome discovery and one that has me rushing to become a firm and steadfast believer. Embrace the Lord, young NMJ, and cleanse your soul and all sorts of good stuff like that.

But what on earth do you mean by AGAIN? Surely this is the first I have heard of your elopement with the fair and foul Mr Z?

Jeez. I'm going to need the comfort of God, I can see. What an abysmal betrayal. And with Mr Z, you say? The gruntmeister, tennis player of lowest temper, sneak agitator operating out of Spain? That Mr Z? Zebbidee? Dictator in dictator's clothing, give an inch steal a yard Yorkshireman, robustly unreasonable debater? HIM?

By criminy, NMJ, you have surely cut me to the quick. This has definitely shaken my new found faith to the core.

Where do I have to look to find evidence of this treachery, NMJ? I was browsing your blog only yesterday and found nothing to unduly alarm me.

Mind you, I happen to find the thought of you and Z getting down and dirty pretty unbearably agreeable altogether. And you'll come back to me eventually, NMJ. They all do, sweetheart, they all do.

I still might just shoot the rake Z in the leg, however. We'll see.

Lead me to the scene of your dishonour, NMJ....


Hey GOD - are you getting all of this? I did nothing wrong, k?

nmj said...

Sweetest Pony, get with the programme if you still want me at the altar...Mr Z made a podcast which you can listen to here, I fell in love with his lovely accent and that is when I realised I might have to leave you. I alerted you on his comments thread and also on my own. He says you might be in huff just now anyway cos of cricket - you know my views on cricket so I won't add anything which could further jeopardise our coupling...I like Anna MR as the Almighty, she will make everything work out.

Baby Jesus said...

I have sympathy with your plight, Periodic Pony - women will be fickle, I never had much luck with them. Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.

I have sympathy with your plight, NMJ - men will be fickle, I never had much luck with them. Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.

God says to say hi to you both.

periodic pony said...

Nice one, baby Jesus, and good to see you out and about, incidentally - you've been missed.

I think the advice and comfort you have just offered me is sensational.

I think the advice and comfort you have just offered NMJ is disgraceful.

Anyway, not to worry.

Say hi back to your dad, please, Jeepers. I'd really like to hang out with you more often, you know, but your dad sort of creeps me out - no offence. Bit of an overbearing know-it-all, really. But do say hi to him all the same.

Baby J said...

I have all the time in the world, for you, PP.

nmj said...

Anna MR, have you been captured by a cult? Am beginning to worry.

periodic pony said...

I share your unease, NMJ.

We may yet see armed troopers storm Anna MR's Helsinkian igloo compound. I am almost too scared to switch on the TV.

She is lost to us, sweetheart, religious fanatics have surely stolen her heart and corrupted her mind.

This is the beginning of the end for these days of enlightened reason we have unthinkingly taken for granted for so long. Dark and seriously troubling times, NMJ. Try to be strong.

Anna MR said...

(NMJ, PP - shhh - I'm here. Help me. Don't let them find me -)

nmj said...

Pony Boy, You have to rescue her, go on, do something manly with a rope or something . . . and what if this is not all a joke and she really has been kidnapped - we will simply never know if God has taken over Anna MR, or if she has taken over God. By the way, Pony almost husband, did you win when you fought Mr Z for my hand? Maybe you truly have no energy left to go saving Anna MR . . but, you know, we shouldn't worry, I can see her taking to the religious life quite well, she'll make it into some erotic experience, I'm sure. Kisses both, I am going for sushi tonight, I am quite excited to be going out. x

The Careful Sushi Eater said...

Watch out with the fugu, now, NMJ...

periodic pony said...

Wow. That was a properly sinister remark, Careful Sushi Eater. You are a baddy, a scary baddy of the highest (or lowest) order.

NMJ - be careful, please, there is villainy afoot. I will definitely try to do something manly to sort this sorry mess out, don't worry.

By the way, I'm meant to be having an arm-wrestle with Mr Z to decide who "wins" you, I think. His suggestion - although it does seem like a good way to settle matters. Whichever arm we wrestle with - left or right - please be assured that I will be holding a heavy rubber bludgeon in my free hand beneath the table. Shh....

Anna MR - you are surely lost to us?

Anna MR said...

Surely. But in the nicest possible way.

xx