Saturday, April 21, 2007

For godssakes

That atrocious child of mine has now moved on to fire-blowing.

Parenthood SUCKS, dear Reader. If you haven't any children yet, keep this in mind.


Some of you have kindly expressed enthusiasm and sympathy in various degrees. I thank you for it. To show support for my home-made dork's horrible hobby, I am allowing you this chance of sharing in my misery (but thankfully, no fire-blowing - I don't know whether I'll bear to watch that) - himself doing his stuff on youtube. (Being the vain thing he is, he has edited out the times when he drops the stick, although I told him that was a bit phony.)

I would also like to dedicate this poem to him and to all the other young dorks of the world - not my own, except for the translation - it is by the touched-by-genius Arto Melleri - himself a bit of a wild child.

Nuoruus! Kaiken pitää olla sille siivekästä,
siivekästä ja veristä!
Sillä on niin kiire muuttamaan maailmaa
että se on valmis siihen heti kun on käynyt
eteisessä ja nähnyt avaimenreiästä sisään...
"Maailma! kyllä se tiedetään! se on avaimenreiän
muotoinen!" niin se huutaa, Nuoruus, kuulee
korvissaan oman sydämensä lyönnit:
"Maailman sydän lyö! ettekö te kuule?"
Kaiken pitää olla sille siivekästä!
Siivekästä ja veristä! ja se joutuu aina petetyksi
tai pettää itse itsensä, kumpaankin se on valmis,
ja kaikkeen
Kun kompastut omiin jalkoihisi älä sano sitä
Kohtaloksi, sido ensin kengännauhasi

Youth! For it everything must be winged,
winged and bloody!
It is in such a hurry to change the world
it is ready for it straightaway when it has been
in the hall and seen through the keyhole...
"The world! we know all about that! it is the shape
of a keyhole!" so it shouts, Youth, hears
in its ears the beating of its own heart:
"The heart of the world is beating! can you not hear?"
For it everything must be winged!
Winged and bloody! and it will always be deceived
or will deceive itself, it is ready for both,
and for everything
When you stumble in your own feet don't call it
Fate, tie your shoelaces first


Matti said...


Anna MR said...

No, gentle matti, it is quite conversely aivan päin vittua. It bites, in fact. Nononononononononoooooo. No. You got that, yes? No.

It's pretty futile for me to try and convince you, matti, though, isn't it. Because I know I cannot convince him, even if I could you. And I can't even convince you that it is a baaaad idea.

I reiterate: parenthood sucks, gentle Reader. Don't let them tell you otherwise.

Matti said...

of course not. fire-blowing is awesome.

if he wants to move on from there to pyrotechnics and building bombs, give him my number: i have quite a bit of experience and amusing stories on the topic.

Anna MR said...

*contents of this comment censored by the Obliteration of Bad Language and No Manners Online Brigade*

happeningfish said...

Well, I can't say it's not totally logical for the fire-juggler to move on to fire-blowing.

Tell him he still rocks and that yeah it's a marketable skill, but if he takes anybody else's eyebrows or otherwise precious property out with that stuff, I will sit on him really really hard and tattoo a permanent booger coming out of his nose.

Maybe it'll teach responsibility. (Yeah, like putting me behind the wheel of a car did.)

Anna MR said...

Well you see, dearest Fish. Trouble with parenthood is at the end of the day, I don't give fig about other people's eyebrows, not anyway as compared to my kid's lungs and the possibility of him needing skin grafts or fingers removed or similar. This is how selfish it makes one.

But I have told him about your dreadful booger threat. He reckons its worth the danger, all the dangers, in fact. It gives him the existential buzz stage performing gives to some unlucky buggers. What can one say? Or do? Not a sausage.

happeningfish said...

This may or may not help:
Article on teen brains from New Scientist

I heard about this on the radio last year: motor skill functioning in the brain matures in the mid-teens, but the part of your brain that says "burning off my eyebrows is not a problem if I get to breathe fire" doesn't mature until the age of 25... and all that. It's sure interesting if, y'know, you don't actually HAVE any kids of your own and you're just watching everybody else deal with theirs. Hugs. And tea. Maybe your son can help boil the water...

Anna MR said...

Argh. Yes, honey, it is interesting. Ten years and counting. Sigh.

Thanks for the hugs, incidentally. And the tea. Although if it's ok with you, I think I'd prefer boiling the kettle in the conventional way. I am so middle-aged.

(Am sure B would love showing off his skills to you though.)

bindi said...

It rocks that your son is into fire blowing. Let it go Anna Mr. Its his body and his life and his choice. He'll pull the chicks with an edge like that!

PS. He's probably doing it partly because of the excellent reaction he gets form you!

Anna MR said...

Yes, bindi, I realise my screaming with horror just makes it all the better. Which is why I try to keep to wailing here only, and talking very sensibly about skin grafts and iron lungs with him in person.

His girlfriend, incidentally, openly hates him doing this, btw. Clever girl. Good daughter-in-law material.

happeningfish said...

Yay sensible girlfriend!

basest said...

my kids are too young to to play with fire yet...but i sort of hope that when that time comes, I can encourage it. I have this almost precognative ability to see the inevitable and disastrous conclusion of any just about any activity, so I tread the line between constantly telling my kids to be careful when they are climbing on things that are less than stable, and hoping they'll ignore me and climb anyway.

If I try to make life too safe for them, they may learn to try nothing. I think you're a great mom.

Anna MR said...

Ah, basest, that is just too sweet of you. You want to be careful, that sort of talk has been known to reduce me to tears.

Thing is, you have to let them go. This is such a cliché, but clichés are so oft-repeated precisely because they are so true. I can not stop him, all I can do is let him know I love him and am proud of him - and yes, I do understand him, too. I spoke to him the other day about how glad I am he has found something that will, through his own active doing, give him an existential buzz. It is an important aspect of life, without which there is a gaping hole that people will try to fill with lots of other, much more dangerous things.

But basest, do enjoy your children while they are young. It lasts for such a short while, and the worries get bigger the bigger their world becomes. ..

Incidentally, have I welcomed you to my blog already? If not, let it be now - it is lovely to see you here, welcome and welcome back.

bindi said...

skin grafts and iron lungs! you're as cool as a cucumber.

Of course it is not my daughters doing the fire throwing (yet) so I speak from a safe distance.

Reading the Signs said...

From Signs of 2012 to Anna of yesteryear - thank you!

Anna MR said...

Ah, Signs of this year and many more to come, as well as those already behind us - thank you. The translation is pretty much unspeakably terrible, as I said - but shame-tolerance development being one of the stated aims of this blog, I shall merely hang my head in shame and - tolerate it.


(PS All this is five years ago?! Jay-sus, but life don't have fly when you're having, errm, fun?)

Anna MR said...

Half, not "have". Dork. Me, obviously.